Part One

Welcome to my in-depth, seven part series on "Trivial Things in Life That Annoy Me". In part one, we will be exploring grocery stores, specifically grocery store self-scan checkout lines and the irritating people that occupy them. This is a trivial thing in life that annoys me.

Do you remember where you were when you saw, for the first time, an automated self-checkout lane at a grocery store? Well me neither. But I do remember thinking, "Wow! This is fantastic. Now I don't have to wait for the cashier to scan the items at his or her own pace, (which usually hovered somewhere between slow and 'dear god does this person have a pulse'), my grocery scanning destiny had been placed squarely in my hands." It was a new world for this perishable pabulum purchaser.

Fast forward to last evening at 8:04pm. I'm in line, once again having chosen the self-checkout lane. I think maybe this will go quickly but succeed in only deceiving myself. There are four checkout lanes and all four are occupied. Lane number 1 is being used by a large woman who has decided to pay her 12 dollar tab with 88 nickels and a phenomenal amount of pennies. This lane will receive its next customer around midnight. On to lane number 2, where a middle-aged man is staring blankly at the screen in front of him. It's beeping and yelling at him, in that calm, digital manner that computers often do and in a moment, the man will turn, perplexed at this maddening piece of technology, and search for human help. But I've moved on to lane 3, where a mother of seven is able to scan items roughly every 90 seconds, in between shouts and stammers at her children which are met with retorts of shrieks and screams. It's an escalating crescendo of exchange with no clear victor in sight. My final option is lane 4 and it holds for me the promise of escape. What it doesn't hold is enough receipt tape to issue the customer ahead of me a receipt. So I waited, and waited and waited some more. Eventually I made it out, with all 12 of my grocery items and enough material for installment one of my special seven part series on Trivial Things in Life That Annoy Me.

If you would like to be a part of this special seven part series, please feel free to email me at benjaminkroll@gmail.com or comment to this post with the Trivial Things in Life That Annoy You.