Worst Movies I'll Never See

Wondering what movies I'm referencing? Well, that's what we call a teaser. A way to keep you reading all the way to the end of this post. I suppose you could just scroll down to the bottom and avoid the rest of the blog but I am cunning and now maybe I'll put it in the middle of the blog, or maybe I'll just tell you what they are right now. That way, all the suckers who tried to avoid the rest of the blog post by skipping to the bottom are searching in vain for my Official List of the Worst Movies I'll Never Watch at the bottom. So without further ado here goes, I will countdown the top 5.

5- Gigli. I think this had Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. I imagine this movie consists of them making out for 2 hours and Ben Affleck looking skyward with that pursed lip, pouty face thing he does.

4- Harry Potter and the Insert Something With Wizardical Connotation. Technically, my list should be about 82 movies long due to all the sequels but I've decided to lump all the Harry and his little spell-casting pal movies into number 4.

3- Beethoven's 5th. Remember this one? Giant crazy dog either does something crazy or cute. Probably both for about 90 minutes of wasted time.

2- Brady Bunch the Sequel. In the first one, they really nailed it. I was especially impressed with the family outing to Sears and their enlightening choreographed renditions of "It's a Sunshine Day" and "Keep on". But why mess with perfection?

1- Blue Crush 2. I think this one speaks for itself. I'm sure there's a plot in there somewhere.

Note* For all you steamed Harry Potter fans out there, get over it and go play some squibbage with Dumpledorf.

Now this part of the blog post is filler for the people that thought they could just jump to the end and get the good stuff. But I control what goes on in my blog. I did make up a new word in this blog post; wizardical. I think I will add it to the vocabulary.

Well, that's about it, I'm off to not go watch the aforementioned movies.