That's right, when I think of what Christmas and the holiday season means to me, I think only of one man and that man's amazing shoes. How can you not love Air Jordans? And how can you not want to shove a firearm into someone else's face and claim their shiny new Air Jordans as your own? Or beat that person to a bloody pulp (careful to avoid blood splatter on the new kicks) and carefully remove Mr. Jordan's likeness from their feet?
This is why the holidays are so special, because we find exciting things that someone else has and use violence to plunder those goods. And why? Because the damn shoes cost $180!
If I'm going to spend $180 on a pair of shoes, I'll wait until Reebok gets its act together and reintroduces the Reebok Pump. Or maybe I'll wait until Keds comes out with some new Velcro sneakers for adults.
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